Thursday, September 24, 2009

Wanted Poster...

Enough of the status quo. I am sick of people that break the rules and think they are smarter than everyone else. Just because you are willing to damage a bunch of packs in an effort to pluck a jersey card or an autograph, doesn't make you a genius... It makes you a thief. Worse yet, it makes you a douchebaggy card rustler. Out here in the west, we don't take too kindly to card rustlers.

Stories about encountering pack searchers have surfaced on many different blogs recently. I preface this by admitting that I very rarely purchase individual packs. Pack searchers, therefore, have little to no effect on my day-to-day card collecting life. Things change...

On Tuesday, I was at Target (with no intention of purchasing cards) and ran into one of these characters. After surreptitiously snapping a photo with my phone (planning a scathing blog post), I walked away fuming. This jerk wasn't even being subtle about it. He was systematically pulling boxes of cards from the shelves, searching every pack, folding and bending the cards with his meaty paws. Something in me snapped.

I debated whether to confront the guy or inform a Target employee. I recalled reading a blog post in which a store employee defended a pack searcher because he was a regular customer, and always left the aisle cleaner than he found it. That is ridiculous. As meticulous as this guy was about searching the packs, I had no doubts that he would alphabetize the blaster boxes on his way out of the aisle. I needed to take this into my own hands...

Every good vigilante has to be willing to break a few rules himself. Me? I am a good vigilante. While plotting my attack in the electronics department, I peeled a security tag off a Nintendo DS Brain Age game. After shopping for necessities, I headed back toward the checkout. When I got back to the card aisle, I patted the pack searcher on the back (sticking the security tag to his shoulder). Startled, he looked back at me with a irritated expression. I apologized for the confusion. I told him that I thought he was my friend, Kenny. With obviously feigned sincerity, he dismissively said, "Sorry. Not Kenny."

"yeah, Kenny's not a douche..." I mumbled as I walked away. When I checked out, I mentioned to the cashier that I think I saw the "douchy-looking gentleman" in the card aisle stick something in his pocket while searching through the cards.

Me? I am a good, passive-aggressive vigilante.

I am forming a passive-aggressive pack searcher picture posse. Care to join in? Submit your links to your wanted posters in the comments, or email them to me at

(I didn't actually stick a tag on the guy, or tell a cashier... I did however sneeze the word "douchebag" loud enough that the guy could hear me... I guess I need to work on the aggressive aspect of passive-aggressive. Oh, not that I was looking, but they still didn't have any Goodwin blasters.)

Sunday, September 20, 2009

A Carrrd for Dayf's Pirrrate set...

Rumor has it that the world's most famous card was in fact one of the world's first gimmick short printed cards. It seems that Mr. Wagner wasn't opposed to the cigarettes that were promoted by his likeness. He was actually convinced by a family friend, Dr. J. Beckett, that the scarcity created by requesting the recall of his "tobacco cards" would increase the popularity of his likeness.

With the company that was founded by Dr. Beckett and J.P. Wagner holding hundreds of the now rare cards; the descendants, and current owners, of Topps Deck, Inc. (a mysterious corporation that currently produces 97% of all sports cards) are worth billions of dollars.

Arrrrrrrrrgh! Screw 'em.

A Carrrd for Dayf's Pirrrate set...

Here's another... I actually like the short print variations in the 2009 Topps set, but they are hard to get. When my favorite player is one of the Super Short Prints...


If you want to know where the pirate magic is happening, X marks the spot!

A Carrrd for Dayf's Pirrrate set...

Concept: If the stupid card companies insist on making super rare variation cards, we arrrrr gonna take overrrr and make rrrr own set. Rrrread the genius Here.

My favorrrite parrrt is the logo I crrreated:

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Excuses for not posting...

I apologize that my posts have been few and far between lately. I have developed an addiction to non-prescription facebook. With the help of my card blogging friends, I have been able to slowly ween myself back into the card making groove.

Particularly inspiring has been one of my favorite new blogs Condition: Poor. If you haven't seen it yet, check it out.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

LOST... The Retro Baseball Card Set

You thought I would stop at 50 cards in this set... HA! I laugh in your face!

PRP LOST - #51 Cindy

I can't believe that I hadn't used the '87 Topps design yet... I thought I had run out of sets to steal from (errr... get inspiration from.)

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Tie Breaker Controversy...

The Card Blog League of Yahoo! Fantasy Baseball has a bit of controversy... If you couldn't tell from the title above, the rules regarding tie breakers in the playoffs have been questioned.

The #2 seed, Roadrunners, tied 5-5 with the #7 seed, Jacobmrley's Chain, in the first round of the playoffs. As the commissioner, it is my duty to explain the tie breaker rules. Since I had NO idea what the rules were, I went to the Oracle of Yahoo!; sacrificed two cheeseburgers, fries and a shake; wrote my question in sanskrit on a clay tablet; and threw it into the Holy Fire Pit of Funstonicus.

After hours of waiting in the lobby, Funstonicus' executive assistant handed me my answer:

In the event that a playoff game ends in a tie, the deadlock will be broken using the following system:

1. Team posing least threat to Pintadores de PunkRock
2. Lowest team ERA
3. Highest team AVG
4. Lowest team WHIP
5. Most team HR (batters)
6. Most team Wins
7. Most team RBI
8. Most team Saves
9. Most team Runs (batters)
10. Most team Strikeouts (pitchers)
11. Most team SB
12. Random "coin flip."

I made up #1 (no offense to Jacobmrley's Chain), but the rest are in Yahoo's rules... I would imagine the "Lowest team ERA" was chosen to prevent spamming of pitchers...

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Sorry about the lack of posts...

I have been kind of busy purchasing books (for my birthday today). I recommend checking these out.

I guess "Bill Boehm" is some whacky nom de plume that Thorzul uses when he isn't blogging about baseball cards.

Unfortunately, David didn't use this opportunity to memorialize the historic season of the Card Blog League's Tribecards Trundles. I guess that's okay... I don't like tragic tales (oh, no I dint).

I can't wait for these to ship. If you use the checkout code "White" you get a nice discount. (I considered my discount a birthday present,) (for my birthday today...)

Click on the covers to buy.