Friday, May 7, 2010

Keith Olbermann Can Suck It... (Updated 5/9)

He may have the money, cool job, and all the cards...

But I have MS Paint.

Thanks to Matt at Heartbreaking Cards of Staggering Genius for the inspiration.

A new variation has been found and sent in by a reader who has chosen to remain anonymous.
This variation is at least as rare as the "Tommy" blank back proof. It is the first I have ever seen!!!

But wait! There's more!!!

Corky from Pack War has some printer proofs that he had been saving for years. The story of how they came into his possesion is almost as interesting as the cards themselves:

On a class field trip to the Topps factory, Corky managed to slip away from the guided tour. Hoping to find the famed Topps Vault, he searched for a sign, a map, a company directory, anything that would show him the way to treasures beyond imagination. After wandering for several minutes, dodging security guards, and finding only locked doors, he was ready to give up and rejoin the tour. Just then, a door swung open, nearly hitting the mischevious treasure hunter. Diving behind a trash can to avoid detection, Corky was not seen by the four men clad in dirty cover-alls exiting the room. It wasn't likely that they would have seen him, the dollies they rolled from the room were stacked above eye level with boxes. The boxes were heavy, and the men struggled to roll the overburdened dollies down the hall. As the last of the men passed Corky, the lid fell off the box on the top his stack. 

The lid slid over the man's shoulder and landed directly across the hall from Corky. Looking back toward the lid, the man slowed slightly and yelled to the guys in front, "Hang on! I lost a lid."

"No time. Get it on the way back." Shouted the man in the lead, "We have to get these to the truck before it leaves for the dump."

The man in back gave a slight shrug and moved down the hallway. As he struggled to keep the boxes from falling, a small shower of colorful cardboard fell from the box on to his head and cascaded to the floor. Corky's eyes followed the splash of color as it fell in slow motion. He shuddered as the cards landed on their corners against the hard linoleum. The men sped down the hall, and crashed through a pair of doors marked Shipping / Receiving.

As soon as the doors slammed shut, Corky skittered out from his hiding spot. His heart racing, he scooped up the cards, and shoved them into the pocket of his windbreaker. Running back to join his class, his Zips sneakers squeeked as he hurtled around corners and darted down empty hallways toward the tour he had broken away from.

...even after he rejoined his classmates and finished the tour; the complimentary Ring Pop, pack of football cards, and Bazooka gum could not distract him from the unseen treasure that burned against his side, in the pocket of his windbreaker. On the bus ride back to school, Corky sat alone. His friends shouted at him to join them in trading cards at the back of the bus, but Corky wouldn't budge. 

His hand slid slowly into his pocket as his eyes stared straight ahead. his fingers traced the edges of the cards as his mind raced. What were the cards? He knew they were colorful, he hoped they were valuable. Little did he know the cards he saved from an unceremonious burial at the landfill would some day be a sportscaster/politcal commentator's holy grail:


Wow! What a find! Thank you, Corky!


Joe S. said...


Been to the grand ol' King's Inn lately?

Dinged Corners said...

Well, it may be hard to top the mustachioed version.