What to do when your team can't hit...

As you may know, I have an undying love for the San Diego Padres. I bleed brown. (I should probably get that checked out.)

My boys aren't hitting so good. The Padres team batting average at home has dipped under .200. Ouch. I wanted to know if there was anything I could do to help. I am a helpful guy; I love the Padres; and I have plenty of resources. (Other than money.)

I don't think studying old baseball cards would help much. So, searching around my house for answers, I came across a couple of possible solutions in my bookshelf. I read through Tony Gwynn's The Art of Hitting again.

I don't think these guys need an artist's touch. They need to be fixed, something may be wrong at the molecular level. Thinking of molecules reminded me of Chem lab... Shudder.

Then it hit me... Science!

No. Not steroids. Real Science!

From baseball's preeminent scientist (and home-grown San Diego Legend) Ted Williams!



There is an amazing photo of Ted in this story that shows what his batting average would be based on where a ball is in the strike zone:



I decided to compile the Padres home at bats for the 2011 season and see what the comparison might be:

2011 Padres Home Averages Based on Location of Pitch

Hmmm...

This is tougher than I thought. No wonder the Padres haven't hired me yet.

Star Wars... The Retro Baseball Card Set

Here's another one for you vintage collectors:

PRP Star Wars - #23 Nute Gunray

Design based on: 1951 Bowman #232 - Nellie Fox RC (Rookie Card)



Star Wars...The Retro Baseball Card Set

I'm going all the way back to the mid '90s with this one. The dual-tone, glittery, gold lettering is a real pain in the butt in MS Paint...

PRP Star Wars - #22 Jango Fett

Design based on: 1996 SP Marquee Matchups MM3 - Derek Jeter

If you were wondering what this card will look like with its partner... Don't. I ain't making another. I will give you a great dark side combo to look at, though:



Star Wars... The Retro Baseball Card Set

I finished up a box of cereal today. Ate four bowls, just so I could show you the prize inside:

PRP Star Wars - #21 Jabba the Hutt

Design based on: 1983 Kellogg's #55 - Gary Carter

 
 
 
 
 
 
If you are looking for one of these cards, here is the box I pulled it from:



Star Wars... The Retro Baseball Card Set

Here are some I threw together quickly as filler for the (upcoming) checklist:

PRP Star Wars - #17 Anakin

Design based on: 1997 Pinnacle Home-Away #11 - Alex Rodriguez

 

PRP Star Wars - #18 IG-88

Design based on: 2007 Topps Allen and Ginter Relics #VG - Vladimir Guerrero Bat

 

PRP Star Wars - #19 Droiderference Leaders

Design based on: 1982 Topps #162 - Schmidt-Armas-Murray LL

 

PRP Star Wars - #20 Ackbar

Design based on: 1995 Ultra Gold Medallion #258 - Cal Ripken

Okay... Time for bed. Happy Easter.

Star Wars... The Retro Baseball Card PACK!!!

It has been a while since I bought any cards. I made a quick jump over to my ICS (Interstellar Card Shop). They were a little limited in their selection of newer cards, so I searched the bargain bin. Thankfully, I was able to find a gem. I haven't ripped any packs of '88 PunkRockPaint Star Wars in quite a while. Fifty credits seemed a bit expensive, but where else am I gonna spend Imperial credits?

PRP Star Wars - 1988 Unopened Wax Pack

Five cards for 50 credits! That's pretty steep in ANY galaxy! Let's see What I pulled...

PRP Star Wars - #12 Stormtrooper AS

Great... A nameless clone. It seems like one of these guys makes the all-star team every year. I didn't have this card yet, so the pack is looking good so far. Unfortunately, this one has the stick of gum fusion welded on to the back.*



PRP Star Wars - #13 Wicket the Ewok

Damn Ewoks! Luckily this is one of the ones I have heard of before. I'd be lucky to get two credits for this one if I got it professionally graded in stellar mint condition. But I don't trust those Huttese card graders... You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.

PRP Star Wars - #14 Darth Bane TBTC

I don't have this card, but I do have the original 1953 one.**

PRP Star Wars - #15 Gamorrean Record Breaker

Oooh! I broke a record! Look at me! I'm awesome! This guy got fed to the rancor the season after this card was made. I've got triples of this card, so he's available for trade.

PRP Star Wars - #16 Bossk (Rookie Card) 

On the bright side, it is a rookie card. Unfortunately, it isn't the Boba Fett I was hoping for.

In an attempt to get my money's worth from this crappy pack, I scanned the pack for my quaking minions faithful readers.

PRP Star Wars - 1988 Wax Pack Wrapper

* Here's the damn gum stuck to my Stormtrooper All-Star:

**Here is my vintage Darth Bane card from '53:

Hope you liked the pack more than I did. I don't think I'll be going back to that shop any time soon. The music was pretty good, though.

Star Wars... The Retro Baseball Card Set

Just so my weekend wasn't completely unproductive, I knocked this one out for you.

PRP Star Wars - #11 Darth Maul

Design based on: 1954 Red Man #NL23 - Eddie Mathews



Star Wars... The Retro Baseball Card Set

Modeled on one of the greatest baseball cards of all time, this Darth Vader card shares one of Old Hoss Radbourn's famous gestures.

PRP Star Wars - #10 Darth Vader

Design based on: 1887 N172 Old Judge Cigarettes - Old Hoss Radbourn

Star Wars... The Retro Baseball Card Set

The C-3PO card wore me out, so I went easy on this one.

PRP Star Wars - #9 Rebel Alliance Team Card

Design based on: 1980 Topps #659 - Milwaukee Brewers CL

Star Wars... The Retro Baseball Card Set

I just realized that I have made three straight "retro" cards from 1993. Odd. Well, I guess that means I have to make up for my error by going WAY back.

PRP Star Wars - #8 C-3PO

Design based on: 1888 N162 Goodwin Champions - King Kelly

I think I nailed this one. You know you can click on the image to see it full size... 

Star Wars... The Retro Baseball Card Set

Since Topps always puts Mickey Mantle as their #7 card, I thought I would follow suit. In ALL PunkRockPaint Star Wars sets made from this point forward, R2-D2 will be card #7.

Why? The explanation is simple: SABRology (The Combined Theory of  Obscure Baseball Statistics and Numerology)

Substituting the alpha-numeric values in R2-D2 gives the simple mathematical formula:

(18)2 - (4)2

36 - 8 = 28

Mickey Mantle was 28 years old during the 1960 season. Using the basic SABRology formula known as RD, we take Mantle's Runs scored total from 1960 (119) and subtract the runs he Drove in (94).

119 - 94 = 25

The number 25 left me feeling a bit confused, so I rechecked my math. Hmmm. The math is right, but it just didn't work the way I hoped.

I read the Bill Lucas and George James book of SABRology again. I feel so stupid...

I missed the section on the Sidekick Postulate. Forgetting about C-3PO, had thrown off my entire calculation. My rationale became clear:

C = 3, P = 16, O always substitutes for zero.

(3) - 3 (16) (0)

3 - 0 = 3

If you add C-3PO to Mantle's 1960 RD total...

28

Simple. And that is why R2-D2 will always be card #7

PRP Star Wars - #7 R2-D2

Design based on: 1993 Upper Deck Then And Now #TN9 - Dave Winfield   

Star Wars... The Retro Baseball Card Set

Moving on to the bounty hunters...

PRP Star Wars - Boba Fett

Design based on: 1993 Finest Refractors #46 - Jim Abbott

 

 
 
 
 
 
 
I don't really like the fact that I put Boba on a "Boba Fett's Finest" card. "Bounty Hunters" was too long, so I ran with it.

Star Wars... The Retro Baseball Card Set

It seems like everyone is asking when I am going to make the pricess Leia gold bikini card. I hate to pander to the masses, but...

PRP Star Wars - #5 Pricess Leia

Design based on: 1993 Denny's Holograms #16 - Cal Ripken

 
 
 
 
 
 
Okay, maybe no one was asking for it "out loud", but you know you were thinking about it.

Star Wars... The Retro Baseball Card Set

I love the 1960 coach cards, so I couldn't resist...

PRP Star Wars - #4 Jedi Coaches

Design based on: 1960 Topps #468 - Cardinals Coaches

Star Wars... The Retro Baseball Card Set

You can't have Han Solo without Chewbacca... They go together like peas and carrots; or peanut butter and jelly; or Jack Daniel's and Eggo waffles...

PRP Star Wars - #3 Chewbacca

Design based on: 1998 Leaf Rookies and Stars #227 - Carlos Lee SP

Star Wars... Retro Baseball Card Set

On to card #2...

PRP Star Wars - #2 Han Solo

Design based on: 1955 Topps #164 - Roberto Clemente RC

Rather Than Cleaning...

I have given myself two days to get our bedroom cleaned. There are no dirty clothes. The sheets are clean, and the bed made. The closet is organized, and the clothes are put away...

Then there is this corner:

Yes. This is a current photo of my desk.



Rather than piling them back into boxes, I told Kerri that I was going to get them organized AND put away...

She's in San Francisco for the next two days, so I promised it would be done by the time she got back. I figured sharing my predicament would be helpful (though not necessarily a good use of my time.)

Star Wars... Retro Baseball Card Set

What do you think? Should I run with this idea?

PRP SW - #1 Luke Skywalker

Design based on: 1959 Topps #10 - Mickey Mantle

 

Oops. Forgot the facsimile autograph.